Yes, I get where you are coming from. Ever since moving to Mayotte and having J's happy blessing to write full-time, I have noticed that my squirrel brain* gets easily sidetracked into pursuing knowledge rather than creative output. When I am not accountable to someone, I lack the discipline to see something through, and that irritates me. Supremely. But obviously not enough to Consistently Do Something About It.
What, then, is the problem if I have the time and desire to do something but don't do it?** I like creating--I want to create--so this isn't a question of outside expectation. [Frex, J never, ever puts any pressure on me to show something for all the time I spend "creating."] It may not be fair, but I think the variables of kids, health, and time (and international moves?) should be set aside in the examination of this question because I did not always have all those things/issues demanding my attention; and they don't always come into play at the same time even now. Therefore, I think it DOES come down to needing the pressure on some level to buckle down and DO in view of turning out *specific things,* specific things being physical manifestations of the things I build in my mind (stories, paintings...).
My time is precious but I treat it like it's not. If I was putting money into a class, for example, I know I would treat that investment as something to value and, therefore, respect. If time is money, I should also be valuing my minutes and hours, right? The other block is probably my critical view to my own output. Please reference the email we shared about my photo of Sprout. Oh, those expectations are high. Anyhow, all this shows me I continue to live in my headspace about the issues; and what I seek to do, which you pointed out in your comment, is to continue to approach it as skills acquisition.
Which leads me to the "failure" bit. :P In a nutshell, I could have worded that better. I don't feel like a failure. :) Instead, I mean to say "failure to follow through," not "I am a failure for not following through."
______________ *Or to a more positive spin on Squirrel Brain: my insatiable desire to know All the Things about All the Things and be able to talk intelligently about things that matter to me
** This applies to anything, like exercise, language study,...
I feel like I have already banged my head against this same wall countless times :P
What, then, is the problem if I have the time and desire to do something but don't do it?** I like creating--I want to create--so this isn't a question of outside expectation. [Frex, J never, ever puts any pressure on me to show something for all the time I spend "creating."] It may not be fair, but I think the variables of kids, health, and time (and international moves?) should be set aside in the examination of this question because I did not always have all those things/issues demanding my attention; and they don't always come into play at the same time even now. Therefore, I think it DOES come down to needing the pressure on some level to buckle down and DO in view of turning out *specific things,* specific things being physical manifestations of the things I build in my mind (stories, paintings...).
My time is precious but I treat it like it's not. If I was putting money into a class, for example, I know I would treat that investment as something to value and, therefore, respect. If time is money, I should also be valuing my minutes and hours, right? The other block is probably my critical view to my own output. Please reference the email we shared about my photo of Sprout. Oh, those expectations are high. Anyhow, all this shows me I continue to live in my headspace about the issues; and what I seek to do, which you pointed out in your comment, is to continue to approach it as skills acquisition.
Which leads me to the "failure" bit. :P In a nutshell, I could have worded that better. I don't feel like a failure. :) Instead, I mean to say "failure to follow through," not "I am a failure for not following through."
______________
*Or to a more positive spin on Squirrel Brain: my insatiable desire to know All the Things about All the Things and be able to talk intelligently about things that matter to me
** This applies to anything, like exercise, language study,...