Owning the brokenness

[wayfaringwordhack]

The manuscript I'm working on, the one I promised to finish a draft of by Sept 1st because I believed it was pretty sound--unfinished ending aside--is broken.

It is painful, but I must admit that my memory of a fairly sound draft does not match the reality. There is no way I can uphold my promise to Julien to have it submission-worthy by Nov 1, no way to meet my own standards in the time I have.  Especially since the story is not singing to me, not even humming. It sounds like an excuse to say that, to try to get out of writing because I don't feel hot, passionate, consuming story love. So many times I've read about the importance of showing up, of sticking with the story and pushing past any discourage sloughs of Blah. But. But.

I have so much to do, so many projects, and a baby who is a major monopolizer of my time and energy; and I think, why?  Why should I pursue something that my heart is not in right now?  Why shouldn't I turn my passion and my spare moments to working on something that brings me joy?

I promised, that's why. But when the black hole of no-inspiration-and-even-less-desire strikes*, that doesn't seem a good enough reason.

I told frigg that I should perhaps work on two projects simultaneously, only working on the "fun" project (WW2) after spending a set amount of time on the "promise" project.  Time, though, is in short supply.  Now I just sound whiny.

I just need to make time. And get inspired.

Anyone want to share how they get fired up about/deal with a project that has fizzled?


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* can a black hole strike? :P

Comments

[jongibbs.livejournal.com]

{{{{Hugs}}}}

Here's my suggestion:

Take a week off, during which time you're not allowed to even think about your 'broken' ms - you will anyway, but it's the intention that counts.

Work on something new and shiny until the week's up.

Go back over the ms and make a note of all the things you like about it (only the good stuff, no neggy-negatives), then ask yourself the $64,000 question:

Is there enough good stuff to make it worth fixing the bad? If so, have at it. Your sub-conscious has already been working on finding a way, so you may find it much easier than you first thought.

Hope that helps. Good luck :)

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Is there enough good stuff to make it worth fixing the bad?

This is indeed the $64,000 question. You've made me realize that I need to do some intense assessing beyond "am I feeling this MS or not?!"

Thank you!

[jongibbs.livejournal.com]

I hope you get the answer you want :)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

What an amazingly cool suggestion. I'm going to remember this myself, for when I'm in similar situations. Thanks :-)

[jongibbs.livejournal.com]

:)