However this may sound, this is NOT me looking for reassurances

[wayfaringwordhack]

Sometimes--very often of late, if I'm honest--I go through one of those why-in-the-world-do-I-think-have-what-it-takes-to-be-a-writer slumps. In fact, I've gone through multiple ones just today. Slump, slump. Slump. Thump!

I honestly wonder why I keep writing, why I keep playing with stories, when I obviously have some serious lacuna in my storytelling know-how. No matter how I try, how much I think I know about all the little bits that go into great stories, I still weave yarns that are lacking. I have to ask if it is sheer stupidity that keeps me butting my head against the storytelling wall. If I *know* things, why can't I *do* them? I can't even see how it will be possible to do them in another draft. It's as if something is hardwired into me that keeps me from telling a story that will move readers or hold their interest.

Part of me says I'm putting too much pressure on myself for a first draft. A bigger part of me refers the pansy part to the above statement about it not being possible to improve one of my second drafts.

Everyone has a story to tell, people are fond of saying. OK, fine, but should everyone tell a story?

That is the question.

*sigh*  All right. Back the story, stupid.

Comments

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

The problem is that I don't know how to use the angst to get better. I think I do, and then I don't improve. Very disheartening.

I'll soldier on, though. One of these days, I reckon I'll get off this plateau.

[frigg.livejournal.com]

You are improving.

I think most of us don't see that we are improving. Like when you told me that my first drafts had improved, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I still think they are the same bunch of mess as they always are and always have been. :p

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

I would love it if it were a case of me just "not seeing it." Alas, don't think that is true. But perhaps I'm set on being "pessimistic pea" about this.