Please be rude, crude, and socially unacceptable

[wayfaringwordhack]

Someone asked me yesterday to share with her any crude ways of saying, in English, to do one's business, and all I could come up with was "take a dump." I'm sure cruder stuff exists, but I was at a loss to come up with any.

I don't know if I've been away from English speaking countries too long or if I never hung out with the "right" people and actually learned those quaint phrases.

So, if you'd like to enlighten me, so that I might in turn enlighten my curious French friends, please be gross in the comments.

Comments

[jongibbs.livejournal.com]

In England, the polite version is "Number two". There are many ruder ones, but I'd be too embarrassed to say them, even if I knew :)

[paft.livejournal.com]

"See a man about a dog" is an old euphemism I used to hear. And I once heard someone call refer to it as "a hard fart."

[clarentine]

My 20-yr-old says "drop the kids at the pool."

There's also, of course, to take a shit.

[pjthompson]

A friend of mine from the deep south used to laugh every time someone said they were "crunching numbers" because in Mississippi, "crunching" meant...taking a dump, dropping a load, browning one's pants...