The Wayfaring Wordhack

I have not been faithful about keeping this space up to date.  Too much going on and not good enough Internet coverage to make it worth the struggle.  In a nutshell, as you know, the year fell apart from its predicted end with the conflict between our neighbors to the south. 

I did go home to France with the kids, where I proceeded to get some gardening done between the rare bouts of combined wellness and dryness (it literally rained for weeks on end, and the viruses came thick and fast and circulated mercilessly between the four of us).  Going back home was not in vain; I now happily have six new asparagus plants, which will be just about ready to harvest when we leave Lebanon for good.  If we leave when planned. More on that in a minute. 

I also pruned almost all of my red raspberries; transplanted--with the kids' help--my golden raspberries; tip layered multiple shoots of my tayberries; transplanted thornless blackberries; and--again with the kids' help--got one of our strawberry beds thinned out, weeded, and covered in landscape fabric (not a favorite technique of mine, but let's face it, when you have a lot of land and don't live on a place year-round--and even when you do--you spend a LOT of time weeding if you don't use some serious suppression tools).  I planted some garlic cloves in the chicken run and also stuck a few hazelnut cuttings in the ground to see if any take.  Wild ones do when we use them as support posts in the garden, so there is no reason I shouldn't get some nice starts from this named cultivar.

My husband joined us on Dec 16th, and we spent Christmas with his mom and brother at our place (where we possibly got them sick; they are sick now, but was it our fault?).  I got a horrible ear infection and couldn't go down with J and the kids to see J's dad.  I have no more pain, but after three weeks and two courses of antibiotics, I still have mucus in my sinuses and a constant whine in my right ear. Thankfully I had no pain while flying back to Lebanon.

So, yes, we are back in Lebanon, despite there being no improvement in the situation, instead arguably a worsening.  But it is not frightening on a personal level. There is danger in the air, but we are not the target or near the areas/people that are.  And so we will remain here en famille until something changes.

In thinking about what I want out of 2024, I reflect on what did not go exactly as planned in 2023, namely fully participate in my painting course this fall.  I would like to just move on and paint my own stuff, but I feel I missed out on some fundamental concepts despite completing the exercises at a later date.   I can certainly be excused for my lack of focus.  While I have access to the course until next fall, I think I might be better served to retake the course now, on my own.  It won't be the same as doing it with all my fellow students, but I am still part of the community as I shared before.

My main objective is to "sit and seek" through January in terms of what I want of the year, especially on a spiritual level, but in terms of art, I am sure enough that I will re-take the painting class, then commit to one painting a week.  I also want to work on the illustration front and must think of beneficial objectives to move me forward there, too.

I would like to write, but at the moment, I am not at all in that headspace.  

My head is in a sort of limbo thanks to J's boss, who does not like anyone being here with their families.  J just applied for his 4th year, which would begin 29 Dec 2024, and we have heard a rumor that two requests for the 4th year were denied. There just happen to be two colleagues here with their families, J and one other.  We should have already found out if we were staying or not, but Not-Nice Boss decided to circumvent the normal chain of information, go behind everyone's back, and send his verdict straight to Paris.  It is a mess to explain, but suffice it to say, Not-Nice Boss didn't want to risk justifying his decisions (one person asked him to do so, and he was highly offended that he should have any kind of accountability to those beneath him. He Spoke. So Be It.  Great boss material, yeah?)

So, until we are certain of our stay, I don't know how to go about settling in to this (possibly) last year.  We had thought to visit the States (first time in over 9 years) at the beginning of summer, but if we move back to France this winter, that won't happen.

Enough rambling.  I hope your 2024 is off to a great start.  Despite the meh tone of this post, mine is fine; and it is nice to be back in our community of friends.

I have completed my first (and easiest) goal of making the 'zines for our Thanksgiving trip.  I drew a couple of characters with pencil (one from imagination and one from a photo). 

That was yesterday.

I also did a few other art things, which I continued to work on today, but I think it will be easier to show them--maybe tomorrow--than explain.

The majority of my day today was caring for sick kiddos and feeling a sore throat of my own setting in.  Ti'Loup has vomited three times today and has a fever, and Farmer Boy started with a headache and now has a fever.  Farmer Boy was supposed to go to a birthday party tomorrow (and I was going to play taxi for a couple of other invités and then stay around to paint off in the nature by myself), but I think we might have to cancel.

:-/

 I hope what ever this is moves on quickly and leaves us healthy for our trip and the holidays.

Still no word from the owners of the flat with a garden,

I have been sketching everyday, just letting whatever I see and feel like capturing be my model for the day.  Most things aren't worth sharing, but sharing is not the point.  Doing is, and I am happy to be doing and learning.  Every stroke teaches something.

Here is my latest sketch, from our trip to Lake Chouwen:







I got the bones in yesterday (with the wrong pencil.  Note to self:  Prefer a pencil with a wide lead/nib instead of a mechanical pencil) and tried to remember the shadows and dark values to put in today.  I could have done more, I see, but alas.  Not for today.

So, following my last entry on my expectations with myself and my art, here is what transpired after a hectic week of not feeling well, social obligations,* and a birthday.**

The theme, of which there is not truly one, is keeping it loose.  That is not something I set out to do but something I keep reminding myself to come back to, and I see it in some pieces this week.  This translates into an art style but also a mental space, a space I want to cultivate where I can strive to NOT be so uptight about the whole process (again, not just application of paint, per se, but in letting go of expectations and unwillingness to "just see what happens.")

Imaginary landscapes, applying leftover paint from the palette wet-in-wet and using a cut-up member card to for effects: rocks, grasses, stamping lines:
( Snippety snip )

This week, I let the Dynamic Sketching slide, but I was otherwise good on working on all the other types of artwork I set for myself to do, and since I am aiming for 2 out of 3, I am right on target. Hooray.

I also started typing up my picture book text. It is a story I have told many times, but I have to consider what the images will tell and what I need to portray in prose. And, "a story from my mouth" is not exactly page-worthy and must be made so.

Voilà, a smattering of the art from this week:( watercolor and sketches this way )








I really must get out and take some more photos to use for the composition project.

My last post from almost two months ago mentioned I was going to try to write 750 words today.  Let's just cut straight to the chase and say that has not happened.   I have been writing* but not setting--or achieving--any daily goals for myself.  I have done lots of research into various story-related things; I have polished up my first four chapters because that is the way I write**, and I have been doing quite a bit of art.

I have also been doing the mothering-thing, the living-in-a-new-country-and-making-new-friends-thing, and generally achieving a state of exhaustion helped in part by sick kids and my own seasonal allergies.  Here I sit, one fever blister*** and one sprained ankle later, with a fairly un-itchy mouth, wondering ruefully why I bothered to post a public goal about my hoped-for achievements...

Wondering why I am going to speak of another goal I am setting for myself.  But there you have it because there you have moi.  

Last week a friend, H, came over, who is also into making art.  She asked what my goal/drive for my children's book is (the one I want to illustrate myself).  When I told her, she said, "No wonder you can't finish it; you are putting way too much pressure on the project." 

Because I canNOT undo the way I see this book or just do a "cutting my teeth" version of it (unless I want to do a crap draft and then an overhaul draft, which fills me with fatigue just thinking about it), I have decided to put it aside in favor of some other, less-complex ideas.  I am setting myself a goal of doing art everyday, broken down into three categories:  1) Copy-to-learn; 2) Book specific studies; 3) Just for fun.   I am aiming for two out of three per day, with achieving all three considered icing on the cake.  The "copy-to-learn"  is actually broken down into two types of copying:  continuing to work my way through Peter Han's Dynamic Bible AND copying an illustration from a pinterest board of styles I like created for this purpose.

No sooner had I decided on this new course than I had a dream about a good idea for a new book, so between that one and a story I made up ages ago for Sprout, when she wanted "stories from my mouth," I have a couple of Cut My Teeth projects ready to go.

Wish me better luck on this.  Oh, and of course, I still want to write everyday.
_____________
* I now have 15+K on it.

** I have to keep going over something until I feel like I have nailed the voice and place before I can make headway with something.  The only thing I was able to really write from beginning to end and not do that on was a story for NaNo where the voice pretty much occurred to me right away and the story lent itself to discovery of place and people along the way since the MC was on the move at the end of chapter one.

*** I get fever blisters or shingles attacks whenever I get really tired. 

Now that fall is approaching and the weather is slowing turning my thoughts and occupations away from the garden, I have started writing a bit.

The other day, while trying to find some notes on a manuscript I am trying to finish, I came across an opening to a story I had forgotten that I had started. I knew I had posted a snippet from it on my blog, so I went back through my writing tags to find it. It dated all the way back to 1 December 2014. And sadly, there were very few writing-tagged entries that I had to scroll back through to get to it. I bemoaned the fact before that my entries have little to do with writing these days/years just last year.

I have finally finished something, though: the NaNo middle-grade book I wrote back in 2016, working title The Golden Apple.  I had two friends beta read it for me, and I read it to Sprout, who loved it and insisted I write more books about these characters. Yeah, I know one's own kids are not the best judges, but it was gratifying to have her say, "I can't believe my mom wrote a book, and it was awesome." My friends liked it, too. Now I have to decide if I want to try to publish it, which was never my intention; it was supposed to be a "throw-away" story to get me back into writing.

Finally finishing that project made me itch to complete something else, so I have pulled out a MS that I vowed to put an ending on back in 2011. (To Be Undone, if you remember, asakiyume . It might come your way THIS YEAR instead of 2013 like I thought! rofl) Oh, how I make myself laugh with my vows and plans. (yeah, that is NOT laughing you hear).  Hey, it's ONLY nine years later.

Anyhow, little by little, I am trying to fit in things that I think will make it a more well-rounded story without breaking the momentum I had with it.  And the ending... still trying to figure out some of that.  I am closer than ever, though, closer than ever.

After I put a wrap on it, I will see if I have enough brain-power to get back to my Witherwilds trilogy or if I do something crazy like try to write that idea from 2014 for this year's NaNo.

 (This was a longer, and arguably better written post <certainly more filled with personal anecdotes> in the first effort that the Internet ate, so here is a the whittled down version)

In May 2017, I started doing Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning in an effort to focus my time and improve the quality of my state of mind. If you haven't heard of it, it is a 6-step morning routine designed to help one be more productive and achieve important goals, whether those be financial, relational, health-related...

In a nutshell the acronym S.A.V.E.R.S. helps you start off your morning with Silence, Affirmation, Visualization, Exercise, Reading, and Scribing. I find the Silence, Affirmations, and Exercise to be the most helpful so far; I do not excel at Visualization and have never hit a Scribing (Journalling) stride. I usually just list three things I am grateful for, but I want to do something more. Just don't know what that is yet.

In the year and four months since I started my Miracle Morning routine, I have seriously fallen off the wagon several times, ceasing to do it when I probably needed it the most, but just not able to give up the extra hours of sleep that my body insisted it must have to function.

However, when I DO do it, I see such a marked improvement in how I spend my time and how I treat those around me, including myself. So, for the past two weeks or so, I have been starting my day with my routine again and feel better for it. As an aside, I also use a bullet journal in conjunction with my Miracle Morning, and my use of that has been more steady but still not up to snuff.

Do any of you do a Miracle Morning routine or use a bullet journal? If so, what do you find helpful about it/them? How do you use it/them?

I worked quite a bit on sketching this week, but I could have concentrated more than I did on the illustrations for my picture book.  I did 18 doodles and only filled one page of my (admittedly large) project sketchbook. I finished the hedgehog, too.  My take-away lesson from the hedgehog is: Planning is important. If I don't plan something, I shouldn't be disappointed or discouraged if the back- and foreground are not integrated.  So, even if I'm doing something to horse around, I might want to think it through a bit more.

( Some visuals of this week's work )

No surprise here that last night was a pretty crap night. I fell asleep a little after 11, only to be startled out of bed by our bawab calling on the interphone to say J had forgotten his scooter outside. I was so sleep fuddled that I didn't know where J was--he was in bed--and told the bawab that I had no idea when he'd be home.

Then Junebug woke up at 2:15, then 3:30, maybe because of the vaccination he got yesterday. At 5:15, I could have sworn I heard someone ringing our doorbell. I checked, but no one was there. I fed the cats and stumbled back to bed.

5:45 and my eyes popped open, my brain saying, Hey, aren't you supposed to be writing?

I told the brain to shut up and go back to sleep because Junebug didn't need me yet. The brain started thinking story, though, so I got of bed and had my best writing morning yet.

Everyone slept in, and I was able to finish up the chapter. Well, finished all of it but one page before the peace was no more (completed it a little bit later).  I don't know that rising early has become routine for me, but my body seems to be helping the brain in making it happen.