I'm not someone who shuns my past--I'll willingly speak about it with anyone who is interested--but I refuse to give it due power over my present and future. That's not to say that I have no baggage or that the past doesn't inform me in many ways, rather I choose not to blame and I choose to choose, not letting other people's choices dictate some Inevitable role or path or me. I don't typically speak of my family and childhood, though, because I don't want to make people uncomfortable, as they often are when others bring up such intimate things. And it is a fine line speaking of the past and appearing like you are begging pity, which makes me uncomfortable.
But I absolutely know what you mean about default assumptions. We are all "guilty" of them, yet I don't think we can always get around them. We can't imagine every possible scenario for everyone we encounter, so unless we have clues or the necessary information to make us broaden or deepen our views, we carry on with our de facto defaults, which, as you may remember, is a "defect" in French. :P
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branchandroot
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Date: 10 Jul 2011 11:22 am (UTC)I'm not someone who shuns my past--I'll willingly speak about it with anyone who is interested--but I refuse to give it due power over my present and future. That's not to say that I have no baggage or that the past doesn't inform me in many ways, rather I choose not to blame and I choose to choose, not letting other people's choices dictate some Inevitable role or path or me. I don't typically speak of my family and childhood, though, because I don't want to make people uncomfortable, as they often are when others bring up such intimate things. And it is a fine line speaking of the past and appearing like you are begging pity, which makes me uncomfortable.
But I absolutely know what you mean about default assumptions. We are all "guilty" of them, yet I don't think we can always get around them. We can't imagine every possible scenario for everyone we encounter, so unless we have clues or the necessary information to make us broaden or deepen our views, we carry on with our de facto defaults, which, as you may remember, is a "defect" in French. :P