I'm nodding hard, because this makes total sense and is recognizable--especially the part you say about "If I were putting money into a class..."
I sometimes feel that permission to write without constraints is almost a curse! At least, I know a friend whose parents told her that she could live rent free with them and just write... and it gave her a huge case of writer's block and a sense of guilt. And I know I write more consistently and dedicatedly when I'm fitting it in around other necessary tasks--and when I have time wide open, yeah: it tends to slip through my fingers. So I do hear you on that, and I think it's a hard one to solve. "My time is precious but I treat it like it's not." How to solve that? I mean it's almost the sort of thing where if you could put money aside--as if for a lesson--and then not put it back into the family budget until you'd done the things you wanted to do... but if you're like me, that wouldn't work because you couldn't be fooled by that: setting aside money that really you can just grab again is NOT the same as paying money to someone else. So I don't know :(
And I'm glad it was just a matter of phrasing about failure <3
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branchandroot
Re: I feel like I have already banged my head against this same wall countless times :P
Date: 19 May 2022 04:04 pm (UTC)I sometimes feel that permission to write without constraints is almost a curse! At least, I know a friend whose parents told her that she could live rent free with them and just write... and it gave her a huge case of writer's block and a sense of guilt. And I know I write more consistently and dedicatedly when I'm fitting it in around other necessary tasks--and when I have time wide open, yeah: it tends to slip through my fingers. So I do hear you on that, and I think it's a hard one to solve. "My time is precious but I treat it like it's not." How to solve that? I mean it's almost the sort of thing where if you could put money aside--as if for a lesson--and then not put it back into the family budget until you'd done the things you wanted to do... but if you're like me, that wouldn't work because you couldn't be fooled by that: setting aside money that really you can just grab again is NOT the same as paying money to someone else. So I don't know :(
And I'm glad it was just a matter of phrasing about failure <3