I was thinking about how driven you are, and much as I disliked the book I just read, the one that's all twee and utopian and foolish, there are some things it gets right, and one is the kind of desperation you feel from the main character as they keep looking for *something*, they're not even sure what, and not finding it.
Not that you're necessarily searching or that you don't know what you're looking for ... wow, yeah, so why did I bring up the character? I guess because of the sense of tenacious desperation they exude at end. Again, not that you're doing that!! But maybe I get a whiff of that?
I feel like maybe there are a lot of things you're trying for at once: improving your skills/practicing, creating a children's picture book, obtaining success (whatever this means for you). And those things all seem to be pointing in the same direction, but they're not actually the same thing? I don't know if I'm making sense (and even if I am, I don't know if what I'm trying to say matches what you're experiencing).
But even putting aside art (or writing), I wish for you just the experience of pleasure/fun/joy, you know? Wherever and however! And without riders: just "I'm enjoying this! I love this" without a follow-up sense of "I'll sure pay for this tomorrow."
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branchandroot
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Date: 28 Aug 2022 03:41 pm (UTC)I was thinking about how driven you are, and much as I disliked the book I just read, the one that's all twee and utopian and foolish, there are some things it gets right, and one is the kind of desperation you feel from the main character as they keep looking for *something*, they're not even sure what, and not finding it.
Not that you're necessarily searching or that you don't know what you're looking for ... wow, yeah, so why did I bring up the character? I guess because of the sense of tenacious desperation they exude at end. Again, not that you're doing that!! But maybe I get a whiff of that?
I feel like maybe there are a lot of things you're trying for at once: improving your skills/practicing, creating a children's picture book, obtaining success (whatever this means for you). And those things all seem to be pointing in the same direction, but they're not actually the same thing? I don't know if I'm making sense (and even if I am, I don't know if what I'm trying to say matches what you're experiencing).
But even putting aside art (or writing), I wish for you just the experience of pleasure/fun/joy, you know? Wherever and however! And without riders: just "I'm enjoying this! I love this" without a follow-up sense of "I'll sure pay for this tomorrow."