Owning the brokenness
17 Sep 2011 10:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
wayfaringwordhackThe manuscript I'm working on, the one I promised to finish a draft of by Sept 1st because I believed it was pretty sound--unfinished ending aside--is broken.
It is painful, but I must admit that my memory of a fairly sound draft does not match the reality. There is no way I can uphold my promise to Julien to have it submission-worthy by Nov 1, no way to meet my own standards in the time I have. Especially since the story is not singing to me, not even humming. It sounds like an excuse to say that, to try to get out of writing because I don't feel hot, passionate, consuming story love. So many times I've read about the importance of showing up, of sticking with the story and pushing past any discourage sloughs of Blah. But. But.
I have so much to do, so many projects, and a baby who is a major monopolizer of my time and energy; and I think, why? Why should I pursue something that my heart is not in right now? Why shouldn't I turn my passion and my spare moments to working on something that brings me joy?
I promised, that's why. But when the black hole of no-inspiration-and-even-less-desire strikes*, that doesn't seem a good enough reason.
I told![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
frigg that I should perhaps work on two projects simultaneously, only working on the "fun" project (WW2) after spending a set amount of time on the "promise" project. Time, though, is in short supply. Now I just sound whiny.
I just need to make time. And get inspired.
Anyone want to share how they get fired up about/deal with a project that has fizzled?
_____________
* can a black hole strike? :P
It is painful, but I must admit that my memory of a fairly sound draft does not match the reality. There is no way I can uphold my promise to Julien to have it submission-worthy by Nov 1, no way to meet my own standards in the time I have. Especially since the story is not singing to me, not even humming. It sounds like an excuse to say that, to try to get out of writing because I don't feel hot, passionate, consuming story love. So many times I've read about the importance of showing up, of sticking with the story and pushing past any discourage sloughs of Blah. But. But.
I have so much to do, so many projects, and a baby who is a major monopolizer of my time and energy; and I think, why? Why should I pursue something that my heart is not in right now? Why shouldn't I turn my passion and my spare moments to working on something that brings me joy?
I promised, that's why. But when the black hole of no-inspiration-and-even-less-desire strikes*, that doesn't seem a good enough reason.
I told
frigg that I should perhaps work on two projects simultaneously, only working on the "fun" project (WW2) after spending a set amount of time on the "promise" project. Time, though, is in short supply. Now I just sound whiny.I just need to make time. And get inspired.
Anyone want to share how they get fired up about/deal with a project that has fizzled?
_____________
* can a black hole strike? :P
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no subject
Date: 19 Sep 2011 08:29 pm (UTC)This is what I keep hoping will happen. So, I sit down with my good intentions of writing, and indeed, I follow through for a few days, and then some distraction--valid, necessary, or...not--and I fall off the writing wagon, right before that pleasure has a chance to take root.
Determination and persistence needed!
Are you not allowed to reassess the story and feel differently about it?
I definitely need to sit down and assess and reassess and get to the bottom of my feelings.
So much has happened in my life and circumstances since I first conceived of this story, and I've long since burned through that first delectable breadcrumb that set me down this path.