This may seem like it is coming out of the blue, but...

[wayfaringwordhack]

Dear Random Self-proclaimed Teachers, Ego-Boosters, and Advertisers,

 

Please don't tell me I "deserve" something, as if just because I "am" and I am entitled to something.  What utter tripe and nonsense.  

 

Let’s look at the definition of "deserve" courtesy of Merriam-Webster: 

 

Transitive verb* to be worthy of : MERIT intransitive verb: to be worthy, fit, or suitable for some reward or requital

 

OK, merit is given as a synonym.  Let’s take a peek.

 

“merit” - noun: character or conduct deserving reward, honor, or esteem;  transitive verb: to be worthy of or entitled or liable to : EARN [earn transitive verb : 1 a) to receive as return for effort and especially for work done or services rendered // 1 b) to bring in by way of return // 2 a)  to come to be duly worthy of or entitled or suited to // 2 b) to make worthy of or obtain for

 

So my takeaway is that I have to DO something, EXHIBIT something in order to be worthy of or deserve something else.  Deserving is not an inherent personal quality; it depends on something else.  Something must qualify you as being deserving.

 

And I disagree strongly that I should buy a quality watercolor brush so I can make the art I “deserve.”  

 

Please stop using words to get people on the Entitlement Train.  Many people are born on the Train; they don’t need further encouragement to stay on board.

 

Sincerely,

Semantically Disgruntled

 

__________

* A verb needing an object:  I (subject) deserve (verb) something (object).

Comments

[asakiyume]

As you know--I strongly agree! This concept of deserving is really odious. Not only does it encourage an inflated sense of self, a sense that one is owed things, but (I feel) it can't help but cause a knock-on thought: that other people don't. "You deserve this" implies that there are might be someone who didn't. (Otherwise, why say it at all?)

To my mind, there are two arguments against this stupid advertising/self-help comfort ploy that take opposite approaches but that are both completely right. One is the argument you make: that merit/deserving-ness can only be judged and decided in cases where you really can earn it. For example, if there's a road race and everyone trains hard for it and one person runs it faster than everyone else and comes in first, we can say they deserve a first-place medal--and we can say the people who ran in the middle of the pack don't deserve a first-place medal without saying anything bad about them as humans. They worked hard and ran hard: good job. They didn't run fastest, so they don't deserve a first-place medal, that's all.

But/and: there's an intrinsic worth all people have just as souls who are alive in this world. But *this* worth is the common gift of all of us, which means that while we're no lesser than anyone else, we're also no better. This intrinsic worth means that as best we can (and we can't do it very well), we all should treat each other with care and respect--mutually! ... Which has nothing to do with deserving paintbrushes, spa trips, or smooth sailing in life.

[wayfaringwordhack]

Yes, I love how you highlighted both points. I was determined to rattle on a longer, bringing in more examples and expounding a bit more on the idea of all being created in the same image, but I had to wrap it up and get lunch ready. :P. Thank you for contributing to the thoughts. I also despise the unspoken YOU deserve it but others don't; YOU are worth it (because you have the money to prove you are) but others aren't (because they don't), ad nauseum.