However this may sound, this is NOT me looking for reassurances

[wayfaringwordhack]

Sometimes--very often of late, if I'm honest--I go through one of those why-in-the-world-do-I-think-have-what-it-takes-to-be-a-writer slumps. In fact, I've gone through multiple ones just today. Slump, slump. Slump. Thump!

I honestly wonder why I keep writing, why I keep playing with stories, when I obviously have some serious lacuna in my storytelling know-how. No matter how I try, how much I think I know about all the little bits that go into great stories, I still weave yarns that are lacking. I have to ask if it is sheer stupidity that keeps me butting my head against the storytelling wall. If I *know* things, why can't I *do* them? I can't even see how it will be possible to do them in another draft. It's as if something is hardwired into me that keeps me from telling a story that will move readers or hold their interest.

Part of me says I'm putting too much pressure on myself for a first draft. A bigger part of me refers the pansy part to the above statement about it not being possible to improve one of my second drafts.

Everyone has a story to tell, people are fond of saying. OK, fine, but should everyone tell a story?

That is the question.

*sigh*  All right. Back the story, stupid.

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

We all have these doubts. Well, I do. I feel amateurish and babyish and like I can't write anything serious. (Even though I have kind and generous friends who tell me otherwise!) So I would just say, we're not always the best judge of our work maybe?


... And, too, speaking pragmatically, I know for me at least, there are things I think I can do better and things that I know I'm not as good at, and I want to work at those latter things, but it's like practicing doing sketches from life, you know? Takes time... and I think in my case (being older and more aware of MORTALITY), I realize that I may never get good at some stuff and should maybe play to my strengths. So that's something to think about too.

I'm not saying this with any sense of your strengths or weaknesses, though. Everything I've seen of yours suggests to me that you're an excellent storyteller, and I can't imagine, really, why you're so down on your writing... except that we all are, sometimes.


ETA: I hope I'm not talking to your entry in exactly the way you were trying to forestall people from talking about it with the subject line. I'm not trying to fob you off with reassurances; I know the doubts live inside us and that's, in the end, a battle for us and our psyches--I just mean to tell you you're not alone in the battle. We're simultaneously fighting the same fight and also fighting for YOU. We want you to win in your battle because we want to read your stories. And because we like you. And I'll stop using the royal "we" now....

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

First the ETA: Not at all! I don't feel one bit reassured. Kidding! Kidding! :P I, indeed, want to thank you for talking to me the way you do. :D

I like the idea of playing to one's strengths. My strength seems to be that I can write grammatically correct, varied sentences. My weakness is getting those sentences to tell a compelling tale about compelling characters. I believe I have an uncanny knack for coming up with stories with great potential for tension and conflict and then squashing the bejesus out of anything that looks like it might raise a reader's pulse. And, boy howdy, isn't this coming across as more writer-angsty drivel! :P

I have gotten to where I don't really like talking about writing because I always seem to be saying the same thing. strike out insulting comparison I have identified a problem and therefore should be on my way to fixing it, right, knowing it exists and all? And yet, still beating my head against it, not quite able to get it. Frustrating does not begin to sum it up.

Thankfully, I have a hard head. So, I'll keep battling. And I'll get the story to you. If you promise not to tell me things just to make me feel better after you read it. Not that I think you would do that.

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I promise to talk to you about your story in exactly the way you want. ♥ (This is *not* the same as telling you only things designed to spare your feelings, I promise. I do think that there are ways of asking questions that can make you suddenly understand what it is you need to do--at least, I've had readers ask me questions that have done that for me.)

There's overall structuring and tension and plot-development and characterization problems--balancing how much we get of this character or that one, or how much time you spend on this conflict or that one, or how much build-up to give, and how much time spent on dramatic stuff--that's one level of storytelling problem, the layout of the actual story, the balance and flow of it overall. And then there's what goes on scene by scene, with description, dialogue, internal thought, etc. Same types of problem (maintaining drama, balance, how much to give of this or that), but on a more fine-grained level.

I'm always paying attention, these days, to what it is that I'm liking when I read something I like a lot. How did the author do it? Why do I like it? Is it unusual language? Is it how the characters talk to each other? Is it the viewpoint, or the narrator's voice? Is it that the stuff that's happening is really cool? (if so, how is this coolness shown?)

Then I set about thinking how I can do like they do :-P

... I also pay attention to what I *don't* like, and try to avoid doing similar.

You probably do these things already.... but I thought I'd share anyhow.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

I do think that there are ways of asking questions that can make you suddenly understand what it is you need to do--at least, I've had readers ask me questions that have done that for me

Absolutely! It is astonishing the clarity you can get from a simple reader question.

Your comments about paying attention when you read speaks to me because I've recently realized that the type of story I thought I liked reading is not necessarily the type of story I actually really like reading.

I need to be a bit more analytical and concentrate on the whys and hows and how-can-I's as I read. I do think of it as I'm reading, some times, but often, I forget what I've noticed/realized when I sit down and try to write myself.

It is kind of like all the legwork I did with the plotting cards, etc. I can get some of it down as a plan but almost without fail, that plan never makes it on the page.

I'm tired and my eyes are glazing over. I don't even know if I'm making any sense. :P

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

You were making perfect sense--only wish I could have replied sooner ♥