However this may sound, this is NOT me looking for reassurances

[wayfaringwordhack]

Sometimes--very often of late, if I'm honest--I go through one of those why-in-the-world-do-I-think-have-what-it-takes-to-be-a-writer slumps. In fact, I've gone through multiple ones just today. Slump, slump. Slump. Thump!

I honestly wonder why I keep writing, why I keep playing with stories, when I obviously have some serious lacuna in my storytelling know-how. No matter how I try, how much I think I know about all the little bits that go into great stories, I still weave yarns that are lacking. I have to ask if it is sheer stupidity that keeps me butting my head against the storytelling wall. If I *know* things, why can't I *do* them? I can't even see how it will be possible to do them in another draft. It's as if something is hardwired into me that keeps me from telling a story that will move readers or hold their interest.

Part of me says I'm putting too much pressure on myself for a first draft. A bigger part of me refers the pansy part to the above statement about it not being possible to improve one of my second drafts.

Everyone has a story to tell, people are fond of saying. OK, fine, but should everyone tell a story?

That is the question.

*sigh*  All right. Back the story, stupid.

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

We all have these doubts. Well, I do. I feel amateurish and babyish and like I can't write anything serious. (Even though I have kind and generous friends who tell me otherwise!) So I would just say, we're not always the best judge of our work maybe?


... And, too, speaking pragmatically, I know for me at least, there are things I think I can do better and things that I know I'm not as good at, and I want to work at those latter things, but it's like practicing doing sketches from life, you know? Takes time... and I think in my case (being older and more aware of MORTALITY), I realize that I may never get good at some stuff and should maybe play to my strengths. So that's something to think about too.

I'm not saying this with any sense of your strengths or weaknesses, though. Everything I've seen of yours suggests to me that you're an excellent storyteller, and I can't imagine, really, why you're so down on your writing... except that we all are, sometimes.


ETA: I hope I'm not talking to your entry in exactly the way you were trying to forestall people from talking about it with the subject line. I'm not trying to fob you off with reassurances; I know the doubts live inside us and that's, in the end, a battle for us and our psyches--I just mean to tell you you're not alone in the battle. We're simultaneously fighting the same fight and also fighting for YOU. We want you to win in your battle because we want to read your stories. And because we like you. And I'll stop using the royal "we" now....

[frigg.livejournal.com]

You are definitely too hard on yourself.

Use the angst to get better (and everyone has room for improvement even if they are pretty damn good), but don't let it hold you back.

And you had better finish those stories because *I* want to read them!

*hugs*

[khiemtran.livejournal.com]

I often have days when I can't believe how horrible my writing is. Sometimes it's a sign that there's something else wrong with what I'm trying (typically viewpoint). Sometimes it just means I've gotten too deep into the nuts and bolts that I've lost track of what the reader is feeling.

OTOH, there are days when I'll be reading something else and suddenly writing will seem so easy. "I can do this!" I think. "This is what we need more of!" (And also times when I might read a book and think "This is rubbish! I could do much better than this...")

[aeriedraconia.livejournal.com]

I think everyone goes through that. I sure do. It can be really hard dealing with the differences between the internal vision you have for a creative work and what comes out on paper. Rarely do the images match perfectly and they definitely don't when it's a WIP.

Don't forget the mantra: It can all be fixed later.

I have also heard it said that when you hit that wall and bump up against it for a while you are about to break through and grow as a writer.



"Everyone has a story to tell, people are fond of saying. OK, fine, but should everyone tell a story?"

Why not? Tell the story and tell your internal self-saboteur (most of us have one) to sit down and zip it. :-)

[tatterpunk.livejournal.com]

1) Read this (http://www.nanowrimo.org/pep/lemony-snicket). I know, I know, but just... do it. It gives perspective when and where perspective is most needed.

2) Often when you talk about writing I have to bite down on the impulse to ask if I can read yours and discuss it with you (and just become writing buddies in general). But I'm not sure if that would be helpful to you -- surely you must have readers lined up already, who know you and know what kind of books you want to write. And it's not like I have Exclusive Insider Knowledge, being as unpubbed as yourself. Still, the offer is there.

3) If that's not something you're interested in, I have only one question: in your stories, have you kept the personal? Have you included that element -- a character, a journey, a theme -- which is part of you, something you learned and suffered and internalized, which feels so private sometimes the thought of putting it on paper feels deeply fascinating and awful at the same time?

As long as you keep that I believe you will be fine. Everything else is tricks and structure and the ability to make words into sentences into paragraphs into coherent pages; all of which, while not easy, can be corrected in revision. There's no fix for someone handing back your manuscript and saying, "This is fun, but there's nothing honest in it."

I don't mean to be glib -- I really don't -- or suggest unchecked self-insertion. None of this is easy. I just think people confuse "good writing" with "telling a good story," and the latter needs something to it, a kernel of truth which demands communication so that, as coded as it is with magic or murder or just plain lies, the reader responds to it. I think people can't help responding to truth.

Thus concludes my possibly pretentious utterances for the day. ;)