When a brain goes wild

[wayfaringwordhack]

“What are you trying to do to me?” is a thing I whiningly asked my mind on a regular basis these past few days as I fought to come to a decision. You see, my brain has taken an idea and literally gone wild with it. The idea is huge, too huge for this small brain, I tell you.  If brain thinks I can pull this off, then brain is going to have to be super cooperative and be willing to learn, to grow, to question more deeply, to...study and Research. Yeah, Research with a capital R because if I go along with the mind’s latest schemes and machinations, this isn’t going to be a project where imagination trumps facts. Yes, well, imagination will win out--I'm a fantasist and write fiction--but to make use of the brain’s twisty turns, there have to be a lot of veracious details.

Because of these developments, I am going to have to stop NaNo. There is just no way I can write this novel right now. I have lots of Research to tend to first. Another option has occurred to me, but I'm unsure of it. I could write on another project for a few hours a day (I can usually get my NaNo words in 1-2hrs), and use the rest of my time to dig and poke at the Big Story. I'm afraid of not being able to maintain momentum, though. I tend to get sucked into one thing and go at it whole hog. Nevertheless, part of me just hates giving up something I've started. *sigh* In this case, I think I need to do what is best for me and that means removing the pressure. But something else is bothering me: I can see the new project taking a loooong time to get finished. It would be nice to have something "lighter" in the works, too. Could it just be a matter of discipline and acting like a  professional, a matter of better organizing my time?

What to do, what to do? Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation? If so, how did you handle it? Anyone have advice?

Comments

[footlingagain.livejournal.com]

Hmmm - not being a professional, I can't really answer you. desperance, or Bear, or some of the others are much better qualified than me to give an opinion.

But I'm going to stick my oar in anyway ;)

Can you use NaNo and Ni90 to do a really, really rough draft (even a partial one)? One with holes and notes like [insert detailed description here] to get you started if the novel is nibbling at your brain all the time?

I like the 2 project idea - that's what I'm trying at the moment so I've got complete contrasts, a change being as good as a rest and all that. But sadly, it's not working. I seem to be a 1 project kinda gal.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

One with holes and notes like [insert detailed description here] to get you started if the novel is nibbling at your brain all the time?

This is another option I've considered; I can, at least, do character sketches. The problem is that I think it will really be detailed notes more than drafting. Still it might shake some ideas loose. And the plot. Yeah, I would like to have an interesting plot. *smirk*

I seem to be a 1 project kinda gal.

That's what I'm afraid of. I tend to get obsessive when I'm really in the groove.

[footlingagain.livejournal.com]

It sucks doesn't it? Or it does when you obsess for ages about a project that you never finish, like I tend to do...

Not this time! This time it's being done properly, right the way to a finished, final draft.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Excellent! You must stick with it!

[mindseas.livejournal.com]

I think I would stick to the one big project that has you fired up right now, even if it means you can't do much actual writing for NaNo. After all, NaNo is supposed to help us write, our writing isn't supposed to be primarily for NaNo. And I'd do the necessary research. I myself can't seem to successfully come back to a project; I mean, it's better for me to do it right the first time. Even in my imperial novels, like the one I'm working on now, I sometimes have to take some time off for research--like this morning, I'm going to have to turn on the computer in the garage or my laptop in order to access the file that has the descriptions and life histories of some of the characters in the present chapter. It will take some time from the actual writing, but I think it will work better if I get these details right in this pass rather than filling in later. Also, every little detail seems to have its cascade of causality, and you lose that if you leave gaps. That's my take.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Also, every little detail seems to have its cascade of causality, and you lose that if you leave gaps.

This is exactly what I'm afraid of. I know these little tidbits can be added in later, but so often they aren't or you have to do extensive rewriting to make any introduction of them seamless.

[footlingagain.livejournal.com]

That's a very good point, actually :)

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

*nods*

It's why I don't like writing scenes out of order. I'm not professing to be such a writer who always nails the little details, but it is something I pay attention to. It's easier for me to do if the detail is already filed away in the subconscious.

[bkdunn.livejournal.com]

Heh, yeah, I started my big research novel in February and ended up falling in love with the research moreso than the novel. Nine months later I'm not too sure what I'm even writing about any more, although I've started in on three different research-related would-be novels.

But I'm guessing your mileage will indeed vary... :)

Good luck with it!

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Yesterday, I read an article about what to research and when, and I'm hoping it will help me avoid that trap. One of the main things I took away from it was, "Have a list of questions ready before you start digging in. Don't read every single book that just happens to mention the subject." I needed that reality check and reminder.

Is it spec-fic that you are writing?

[pjthompson]

Research can take over your life, so you have to know when to stop, but ultimately it's rewarding for the depth it adds to your story. I might suggest writing other things while you research, to keep your hand in, but maybe that's just me.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

I definitely want to avoid the "take over your life" aspect. *lol* I do crave, however, that richness of a well-researched story. For the past few days, I've been trying to write on the story (mostly character setup instead of plot), but I'm about to the point where I really have to know more externals before I can carry on. If I do grind to a writing halt, I have another project I can turn to, just in case.

[kmkibble75.livejournal.com]

This sounds promising...
I've been broadsided by ideas when i'm working on something else, and usually I give the new project a small amount of time just to release the pressure before going back to what I had been working on. Unfortunately, it doesn't sound like this is an option for you.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Yeah, one of the things I fear is that if I let it go now, I'll run from it because it is so big. The thing is, I think I can master the enormity of it if I can first make my mind decide on a few key story elements.

Decide, brain, decide!

[frigg.livejournal.com]

Based on what we talked about the other evening, I say go with the research.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

*nods* Got to grab the beast by the tail and hang on for the ride.

[tatterpunk.livejournal.com]

What to do, what to do? Has anyone else ever been in a similar situation?

Yes. Oh man, yes. Twice now.

If so, how did you handle it?

I buckled. I bought the research books, I resigned myself to highlighters and scribbled plot notes and the realization that I'd be writing about fields in which I was in no shape or form considered an expert, or even vaguely knowledgeable.

Of course, this is something I've been working on for a while. And will be for a while yet. I'm resigned to that.

I wasn't for the longest time, but then I came across this:

If you don't feel that you are possibly on the edge of humiliating yourself, of losing control of the whole thing, then probably what you are doing isn't very vital. If you don't feel like you are writing somewhat over your head, why do it? If you don't have some doubt of your authority to tell this story, then you are not trying to tell enough.
~ John Irving

in the Noin90 community. And I felt better.

Recently I'm trying to write a purely indulgent fluff piece on the side, in the vain hope that it'll help me write off writerly "steam" while I (continue to) work out the kinks in the complicated project.

I don't think I have any advice -- after all, I'm not even sure if this method of writing is even beneficial. Or worthwhile. Or will eventually produce something worth producing.

But it is... it does feel more real, more vital, more worth taking risks for than anything else I've put my hand to. It's something I've been slowly tinkering with for what feels like a long time, but I'm still (knock on wood) not tired of it; I'm hoping it is one of those things were I will not feel as if I've said all I want to say until I've actually spelled it out on paper, no matter how many times I go over it in my head. That's only happened once before, with a similar project but on a much smaller scale, and I'm intensely glad for that experience, so...

And there is an added joy to this kind of approach: I find myself consistently surprised and intriuged by what I discover in attempts to collect and arrange new information in the way it falls together, or unexpectedly provides me with exactly what I wanted for points of narrative or characterization. I have a tentative theory -- that when authors engage in research-heavy projects seemingly out of the blue, it's because they've already subconsciously recognized the patterns and possibilities in the material they want to explore, and are determined to pursue them even if, on the surface, they seem completely out of their depth.

In any event, good luck! And enjoy.

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Yes. Oh man, yes. Twice now.

You have my greatest sympathies. Not once bitten, but twice!

That is an excellent quote, and it sums up why I classify this project as huge. Part of me fears, though, that I'll weasel out and take the low road, just so I don't set myself up for failure. Yet another part (I'm a Frankenstein of fears and small confidences) fears that what contents me as success will still be shallow or small. Talk about a neurotic writer. *reads Irving quote again* *feels better*

I don't think I have any advice

But I already feel better just knowing I'm understood and accompanied in my writerly misery.

But it is... it does feel more real, more vital, more worth taking risks for than anything else I've put my hand to.

That's exactly it. Perfectly said.

Your entire last paragraph is very intriguing and again strikes a chord in me. Those magnetic puzzle pieces of thought that just snap together are one of the greatest rushes for me. When several seemingly unrelated things suddenly show me not only their relation but their dependence on one another, I get positively giddy.

[tatterpunk.livejournal.com]

Not once bitten, but twice!

Well, I'm lucky in that the second project is willing to wait until the first is at least off the ground! But yes; recently all the ideas I really like seem to be research-intensive.

Isn't the quote a wonderful emotional support? *g* It's kept me from despairing time and time again.

When several seemingly unrelated things suddenly show me not only their relation but their dependence on one another, I get positively giddy.

Exactly. And I think that might be the key to avoiding "taking the low road," as you put it -- at least it was for me. Allow yourself to do research while trying to keep your hand in with smaller pieces, and hopefully, eventually, you'll begin to feel more comfortable on the bigger project and less like you're rushing in where angels fear, etc.

That joy of finding the pieces fall into place is a big one, isn't it? *grin* Sometimes I have to fight the urge to jump up and down and shout, "Oh my god this actually works!"

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I have to fight the urge to jump up and down and shout, "Oh my god this actually works!"

Oh, don't fight it! We writers are allowed to be weird. Jump and shout and dance! :P

[rabiagale.livejournal.com]

Mmm, that's a toughie. Some novel ideas just need a lot of prep work before you can actually write them, and trying to force them doesn't help at all (*cough*Quartz*cough*). Maybe you can write something light--short stories and novellas, even--for NaNo and research the Big Idea on the side?

[mnfaure.livejournal.com]

Amen to what you said about forcing them. I just don't think that is going to be possible or advisable with this one (no just-push-forward-and-see-what-comes-of-it approach for me this time).

Maybe you can write something light--short stories and novellas, even--for NaNo and research the Big Idea on the side?

This is likely what I'll do.