These are some random things, in no particular order, that I want to jot down for myself
-- I learned that the "blue light" filter on my glasses falsifies paint colors, which can give an artist serious angst! I kept insisting that the colors on my floor were not right, and everyone else said they were fine, not jarring, etc. Finally, I took off my glasses and realized that my lenses had severely yellowed my tones. :-/ Good to know for the future. Since I am going to get serious about this illustration thing, I think I need to get myself a very cheap pair of basic glasses to wear while doing art.
-- I need to do a better job of focusing on what is the primary purpose/mission of a task. As I pointed out in my post about the first day of the workshop, this was an illustration class! No one ever heard or saw my story, not even Maya. It was all about illustrating key scenes. I did not need pretty sentences or flow. I just needed an idea of what to show on the storyboard. I wasted sooooo much time on non-essentials, which led to a loss of time and opportunity to do the needful things, not to mention it created unnecessary stress and fatigue by having to work at home, etc.
-- While it was an intensely fun experience creating with other artists, it can be tiring for a certain personality (mine) when surrounded by so many people who have doubts about their abilities/projects. I like to serve people; I am a caretaker. I am geared to encourage others, build them up, see to their needs, but it can be terribly draining doing it all the time for so many people. NO ONE expected me to do anything for them, and often people probably didn't want my feedback, so I was quiet. But at the same time, I was *feeling* it all. It was interesting to learn this about myself in this context.
-- I have mentioned before that I don't visualize things like some other creatives seem to do (many people say they see a movie/scene in their head and then proceed to write or draw that movie/scene). For me, the movie is never there in more than tiny snippets and those snippets only appear for me *after* I have pieced them together and polished them, *creating* the movie that I can then view. This initial creation comes about after careful pondering, much research, and lots of trial-and-error. Once I get an idea, I tend to stick with it. This can be bad if the first thing that occurs to me is banal, stereotypical or cliché. So it is important that iI feel my way forward and follow what resonates with me without boxing up the idea too soon. Part of my fleshing-out process is asking myself questions. Case in point from the workshop: Why was the stranger willing to sell/trade his beans for Jack's cow? What in the world was that man up to? What was he hoping to achieve? I got really hung up on those questions and wanted to understand before I could write version my of Jack and the Beanstalk, which would serve for my storyboard. The guy never made an appearance except as a character study and as an indistinct figure in my thumbnail sketches for the storyboard. I don't know where I am going with this except to note that Maya looked at me like I was an alien when I tried to describe my process. She contents herself with saying, This character is poor, this one is rich, and drawing accordingly. This need to know more, I told her, is why I don't want to illustrate other people's works, only my own where I know *why* things are the way they are. But seriously? I need to loosen up just a tiny bit and draw what seems fun and interesting without sweating everything so much. But even typing that makes me cringe a little...
-- The space in which you create has a big impact on how you feel. Believe it or not. Maya's studio is gorgeous and I *felt* like being artistic while there. I need to remember this and work as hard as I can to create an inviting space for myself. Maya would put on music whenever we had electricity (She pays to have electricity all day, but: Welcome to Lebanon), and while I didn't always like it, it was nice to have on and even nicer to have the other ladies singing along to it. :D So, note to self, put on music you like while doing art.
Here, have some eye-candy:
I think there were more things I wanted to say, but as often happens, I have not been able to write all of this in one go and the lateness of the hour now make it too hard to think. Because this is post for me, I will probably come back and add to it if I think of anything else rather than making a new post.
ETA:
-- Don't under-estimate the power fatigue has to derail and demotivate you. Be aware that this is always going to be a roller-coaster ride of emotions and self doubt. There will be no moment of, "I have this now and will never have to fear failure again!"
And something I said to myself in the shower before the workshop began:
Being precious never finished a project. Don't be afraid of making a wrong line or putting down the wrong color. That's what you need to do to find the right line and the right color, just like saying the wrong thing can help you define more clearly and truly what do do want to say. So speak up, boldly put down the wrong line, and courageously apply that color. If it is "wrong," take it as an opportunity to get closer to what "right" is.
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